well

when i think of you, my mind starts to wander

when i think of you, it’s both happy and sad

when i think of you, one day it’s full of hope

when i think of you, the other day becomes hopeless

when i think of you, my eyes start to water

when i think of you, it feels home

when i think of you, it also feels running away

when i think of you, feels like i’m ready

when i think of you, scare no, worry scares me

when i think of you, no matter how i would want to smile, it always leaves me to solitude

everytime i think of you, it always feels like on a cliff

whether to stand or to jump

 

hoping one day, enough courage will i have

not to think of you

 

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irony

when you thought of closing the book, it stays open

when you thought of not questioning, it gives an answer

when you thought of not talking, he communicates with you

when you thought of running away, he walks with you

when you thought of leaving, he stays

when you thought of crying, he laughs with you

when you thought of letting go, he holds your hand

 

tiny world

a month ago, you were stepping on cloud nine

a month ago, you were in an unexpected bliss

a month ago, you were smiling ear to ear

a month ago, spark turned fireworks

a month ago, you wished it stayed this way forever

a month ago, you had a dream in reality

little did you know, falling into trap

little did you know, creating chaos

little did you know, wanting to hold onto it longer

little did you know, hoping to get it deeper

but

different worlds, that’s where you both belong

same book but you were on a different page

it’s now time not just to turn the page but to close the book

it was pretty a good book, anyway.

Jeepney Chronicles 14

Why did a thought that someone would reach out ever crossed that crazy mind? Completely gone crazy. You just hope to overcome this silliness. It was just a night. A night that was filled with beautiful things. Felt like that after a long time, you found someone who will be of the same wave. But, keep in mind..it was just one night. It has to be clear that it was nothing. You both belong to different worlds. Nothing will ever transpire. There was nothing to it. What’s wrong with wanting to give in, anyway? Especially, if it would put a smile on your face.  But, that’s barely it. Is it all about that, after all? Perhaps, to other or some people, it’s a yes. It’s that easy for them to drop everything as if nothing happened. Very shallow. Very casual. But to you, if possible, you would want something beyond and deeper than that — If not a relationship, how about a friendship? A good friendship that is sincere and is meant to last. A good friendship that is possible to unfold. Is that not possible? Creating and making a good company from someone who is so opposite, is that too much to ask? You always end up wondering, why others can be like that, why can’t you? Fate is just that playful and it’s making your heart really sad. It always gets you to wondering. Why meet someone who has someone? Why meet someone who already has a responsibility? What’s the purpose of all these? The thought of being ideal is killing you. Should you drop the thought instead and just go with whatever happens? A part of you says yes but the other part tells you to hold still. For now, accept the fact that no one is thinking of you. While waiting for the time that someone is actually consumed by your thoughts, continue the patience and remain real. Stay beautiful, young being!

 

Thanks for reading. Cheers! 🙂

 

Now playing: Feeling better by Ne-yo

livin’ lovely

You were someone I thought who has so much substance but I was wrong

You were someone I thought who can save me but you drowned me

You were someone I thought I can give hope to but you are as hopeless as the others

You were someone I thought whose choices are the best ones but they are of the lowest quality

You were someone I thought who do things with class but you are totally out of it

You were someone I thought who want finer things in life but you are as cheap as the others

You were someone I thought who has so much depth but those are just words but never in action

You were just the same as the others

You are nothing different from them

You are all the same

It was all the same

 

strangers

you, who said no questions, leave everything unanswered

you, who put smiles on people’s faces, are you happy?

you, who said stay positive, have you thrown negativity?

you, who gives great advice, do you follow it?

i, wanting to unfold everything, will just keep it this way

i, wanting to hold you tight, will just let go like a free bird

i, wanting to stay by your side, will just quietly walk away

us, a word that will never be

us, only exists in my world

 

Jeepney Chronicles 13

It’s surprising to realize that even in the midst of busy, fast-paced day, you still managed to give a thought to someone who will never think of you. Strangely, you allowed your fool self to swim with thoughts. Thoughts that would sure hurt you. Thoughts that would both put a smile and tears. You’ve become so hopeful that it would hit you rock bottom. You even wished these thoughts would stop so that you can completely go on with what you are supposed to do. No matter how hopeful you would want to be, there’s always this part of you that says just quit and give up. Simply cut it. But..with just a slight encounter, you always go gaga. But no, you have to remind yourself to stop now and not allow yourself to be fooled again. No matter how hard it would take. There’s no one to blame but you, anyway. But, what’s wrong with wanting someone to want you as well? Should it really be this hard?