Jeepney Chronicles 9

If there’s a more terrible word to describe how bad the traffic is, that would be it. Walking has become more than just a habit. Walking gave you a better (worse) way to do a lot of thinking. What’s going on? You don’t know exactly but everytime you are with that person, it’s something. There’s something in it that you really can’t figure out. You can’t help but be drenched in with a ton of thoughts. Other times, you wished it never happened. Silly you, you let it all slide. But you regret not a single thing. Felt like the first time in forever. You never thought that these emotions exist in you, still. After all the heartaches you’ve been through, in a snap, hope came alive. Love came alive, in your mind. It felt all real…in your dreams. All in your dreams. You never thought it could still be possible…that it’s possible to have those feelings again. You were someone unexpected but everything about you was all worth it. You made something impossible possible.  A deep and genuine thank you to everything. Thank you. You are one good soul. It is without a doubt something beautiful with you(always). Sure, it was fun. You wished time would go slow or it would stop to be with you longer. No matter how happy you are, it still boils down to that melancholic feeling, silly girl. But…you wanted more..wished to know better but you’re scared he might not want it. Scared that you are  not as willing as she is. Scared that neither of you is willing to give in. Scared that it might not withstand time. You’re just scared with everything. Scared to everything. Just when you thought it’s your turn, everything will just turn upside down. Just when you thought you are ready, you start to falter. Just when you thought someone would be there for you, you start to doubt. And be scared even more. It’s like finally having a new book unfortunately and just like the old times, both of you belong on the same book but will never ever be on the same page. Sad. It’s just completely two different worlds. Or simply, he’s just not into it, or not to you so, what can you do? Nothing. Just smile and quietly walk away, as always. It’s nothing new to you. Well, you wished it’s something different this time but.. but that’s how it is. That’s how it should be done best. Deep inside, you were hoping it would go deeper and farther but maybe, that’s the best offer fate can give you. You even hoped that when the time is right and you are both ready, everything will just fall into its place. For now, all you can have is temporary happiness that is sure to mark in you for the rest of your life. You hope he does, too.  It was definitely sweet and one for the books. For all its beauty, all you can utter is a sincere thank you. It  made you alive again.

Thanks for reading. Cheers!

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