Jeepney Chronicles

              It’s a typical Monday. Traffic. Cars are literally not moving. The road seems a long stretch of parking lot. Along with other passengers, you are fervently praying that it would move. Hoping to arrive on time. While stuck, passengers are either fully asleep, half asleep or maybe, daydreaming. Wandering thoughts. It’s usually the third scenario. Thanks to music playlist that has been with you in your daily journey. It fuels the thoughts. Random thoughts with random situations and tons of what ifs. Well, most of the thoughts are mainly consumed with questions about your career, what to do with it, future plans, where is it leading, love life, what will happen? Where and how to meet a good, sincere and genuine person? They said, asking is immaterial for it will just come to you in an unexpected time. Okay, let’s keep it at that. Also, it is a continuous evaluation of everything that’s happening around you. What do you plan to do? What do you plan to buy? What do you want to eat? Where will you eat?  Where do you want to go? Who do you want to see? Okay, let’s be honest here, set aside other things, it’s mostly about a certain person who actually tops the list. You only want to see and talk to one person. Be with him. That’s constantly the topic of your brain especially during these moments. Traffic helps your mind wander with all the possibilities even if you know that everything is really far from reality. No matter how you try to be hopeful and positive it still boils down to that one sad reality. It. will. never. happen. The thought makes you kilig and sad, anyway. How crazy could you get? You’ve been liking this certain person for quite some time now. You are well aware of everything that he is into but because of crazy traffic, you allowed your brain to think and swim with possibilities. You are too hopeful even if it means totally giving up. Forming questions that sure no answer will ever be given. Creating a long term scene. Creating a beautiful, simple and happy scenario with that someone. Hoping that one day, he would express his real feelings towards you. Uy, baliw! It’s makes you sad and kilig at the same time and sad again.You are stuck. 

                   On other occasions of wandering, you are thinking of clear ways to express your kept emotion so that, you can move on. No expectations but plain admission. For real? Okay, of course, you would want beyond what you have now, more than being friends but hey, self! It will never happen. You have to constantly remind yourself and be awake in your dreams. You need to get out of that zone. Everything that you have will just remain as it is. That’s it. Such a cruel world! Well, you just plan to express because it’s been heavy on your chest. Maybe, you are at fault for letting these things run into your crazy mind. No, blame it on the traffic! Also, the music in your ears! 😀 Slowly, you are realizing that you also have to help yourself to move forward. Which is good, huh? Tap on the back! Of course! Your mind is battling with different sides. It’s a constant battle of which side to do and follow. One question always leads to the other. What is the worth of letting this person know about your emotions? Is it really worth it? Will it matter? Does it still matter? Will you be finally happy if you let this person know? Are you ready? The other part of you fires back with answers and justifications to every plan. But, it’s clear to both sides that it is unfair on your part because you are the only one dealing with this situation. You were locked in this for the longest time and it’s just about time to shrug everything and move forward. Be happier. Be more thankful.   It’s better this way. Also, it’s the perfect time to appreciate other beauty. Who knows? 🙂 But, another situation happened. Little things mean a lot to you and you consume a whole day smiling over simple gestures. You suddenly go back to…What if? Then big sigh. You go crazy. You start smiling again.  And be sad again. Oh gosh! The cycle just continues..  Reaching your destination and finally getting off the jeepney helps you be awake and live in reality. Bitin!

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